haircuts and assignment anxiety

oh shit. as predicted i am becoming ridiculously overwhelmed with e-mails at this point. i now have 2!!

what

the

fuck!

is this thing real now? is this real life? do you know how exciting this is for me?! the best part is that in one of the e-mails, i received TWO QUESTIONS. that's right! one e-mail, two questions! this shit is just bananas.

let's get right to it!

Question #1:
Should I cut my hair, or be patient? I'm trying to grow it out, but godhelpme I want to bypass this awkward phase and get straight to the ponytail of my dreams.

ohh sup hey girl! you are straight speaking my language. i have lived literally 97% of my life in the awkward-hair-phase-zone. and yes, it is a real place. it exists right next to those jeans two sizes too small but GODDAMMIT WILL FIT ONE DAY and the ability to get a manicure and not fuck it up within twenty minutes.

my personal course of action is to usually say screw it and cut it. oops! my hair is thick and a lot to handle. i've only managed to grow my hair out past my shoulders once and then as soon as i hit some intense emotional fork in the road, i turned all debra-from-empire-records and cut it all off like it didn't just take four years of my life to get there. i'm pretty sure i was listening to 90s alt at the time but there wasn't anyone sassy to yell 'well sinead o'rebellion' at me so overall it sucked.

however i have to tell you no! no no no! do not cut it off. you obviously want that ponytail and you should have it! ponytails are amaaazing. they get the hair off your neck and they bounce and sway. (i think that's what heaven is?) you have not described what your dream ponytail is in your e-mail, but you needn't have to. i can see it clearly with my heart. it is a thing of beauty and it should be yours.

your question is really about how to handle this phase and luckily i do have some tips and suggestions on the matter! (see above re: 97% of my life). first things first though, before we get to the fun styling portion, the most important thing you need to do is to practice some acceptance. you are growing out your hair and it sucks! it's okay that it sucks! accept the suck, you know? once you truly, fully, thoroughly accept this fact you will be able to have some level of fun with your hair at all lengths!

now the styling part: don't be afraid to get it shaped at a salon (or by a trusty friend)! i know that the act of cutting your hair when growing it seems to go against what you're trying to accomplish but really, for your sanity, it's so okay to add a layer here, an angle there. you'll still get there in time and you won't be hating it every step of the way. especially if you're at the breaking point where you might just cut it all off anyway, go a bit subtler and keep your eyes on the prize.

also, make bobbypins your besties. try braiding or twisting or a new way to part and style. spend some quality time in front of the mirror every few weeks to figure out the best way to go for that time period. each month is a whole new ballgame and you will probably need to readjust your strategy. look at magazines for inspiration. if you now have shoulder-length hair, or right below the chin, or wherever, whatever, look for models with that length. even if it's far away from your goal, there's something cute out there for you to be inspired by. be grateful for the fact that fall is right around the corner and that hats, oh glorious hats, will soon enter our fashion scene once again.

also, play with other fun things like eyeliner or lipstick. make yourself feel externally awesome in some other way when your hair gets teen-angsty. a little cat-eye has never steered anyone wrong, no matter how many bobbypins they had in their hair.

you're beautiful,
danielle

AND NOW ONTO:

Question #2:
How can I stop freaking out when I have an assignment? When it's a job I'm really excited about I tend to worry and procrastinate even MORE than usual! This leads to getting up at 5am to complete things, only to ask for an extension.

my first instinct here was to tell you to do all the typical things that i'm sure you do already: make lists, break it down, set an achievable schedule, color code everything.. whatever those productivity blogs i don't read tell us to do. and i love me a list and a color code. omg, i love me a list and a color code hardcore, but i'm going to take this in a different direction and try to blow this thing right out of the damn water.

now, if when you received these assignments i was to ask you, "what's the worst thing that can happen here?" i think the following are possible answers: 1) you cannot complete the task entirely 2) you complete the task and it sucks 3) you weren't able to complete the task in the time given and need to ask for an extension.

oh snap, guess what! #3 is already happening! you are already asking for an extension. you're already in the worst-thing-that-can-happen territory! did you realize you were here? did you see that you were in the spot that you did not want to be in - the spot that probably caused or at least contributed to the anxiety in the first place?

but i must ask - since you are already here, in that asking-for-an-extension-place, and are now open eyed and aware that you are here, NOW what's the worst thing that can happen?? you're already in the spot you don't want to be in so it just doesn't make sense to fear it! accept it and gain strength from it! it's like you have the opportunity to look the devil in the eyes, say "you ain't shit!" and keep walking.

break the denial and walk through the fear, even if you fake it til you make it. you're afraid you're not going to finish or afraid you are not going to finish it well - trust that you will be okay, regardless of what happens with this assignment. you're proving that you are okay because you're asking for extensions but keep getting assignments! put these tasks in their proper place - take them off this intimidating pedestal and be loving and patient with yourself. you are human and you are going to have a reaction to work and responsibility. we all do. it's okay. allow yourself 20 minutes to freak out and then get on with it. once you're able to see that there is nothing to truly fear, no matter what happens, you will be able to handle the work with more grace than you could have ever imagined!

next assignment you get look at it with fresh eyes. take a deep breath and tell it that you're not afraid of it and that you are going to straight dominate the f outta it. then straight dominate the f outta it.

to the top!,
danielle